Not dumb, you know enough to ask.
butane propane mix: Fine, use it especially in cooler weather.
Forget Amazon and go to the Asian grocery. It’s the same stuff, no shipping (might be hazmat) and looking at the tank I estimate about three fills per 8 oz can. The 0-6-0 tank is high up so no adapter with the butane cans is needed. You will need an adapter (Jason has them) for the threaded cap on the mix cans.
Steam oil: Absolutely!!! Don’t use anything else. Get it from Jason The lubricator has a drain so you’re OK there but you probably should have a syringe to draw 30-40 ml of water out of the boiler for steam space after you fill it. I bet he has those too. You’ll also need lube oil for the running gear. I recommend 3 in 1 electric motor oil in the blue can not the regular red and black can. Lowes has it or other places.
I can’t help you with RC, I run manual. There are no electrics in the engine, the headlight is not illuminated. My suggestion is to get comfortable with servicing and running the locomotive manually and when you are comfortable start to think about modifications.
Are there any live steamers in your area? Didn’t you used to be in Central NY and I invited you to come over? A mentor is a very helpful thing. I had Kevin Strong when I started 20 years ago and he was a fantastic teacher.
Finally, YOU ARE SOMEWHAT INSANE!!! We all are so don’t let it bother you. You are about to enter a niche of the model train hobby that most who have not been bitten by the bug just don’t understand. They put their trains on the track, turn on the power and off they go. We check the fasteners, oil the works, put in fuel, oil and water, light the fire and then WAIT for the fuel to do its thing and then we run for a relatively short time before more service is needed.
AND WE LOVE IT!
Keep those questions coming if you have them.
Have fun,
Tom