Large Scale Central

Ramblings of the Retired Mind

Ramblings of the Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can’t afford one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is ‘when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it’.

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it “Pumping Rust.”

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, “Oh, have you got a cat?”

Just once I want to say, “No, it’s for company!”

Employment application blanks always ask ‘who is to be notified in case of an emergency.’ I think you should write, “A Good Doctor!”

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do – write to these men? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.

Sad but true.

Have you ever noticed how closely “Mature Wisdom” resembles just being too tired?

Life is like a roll of toilet paper…
…the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes…

Don’t feel too bad about the cell phone TLR, I can’t even afford the garage door opener…:frowning:

So much for retirement life. :confused:

Phil Creer said:
Life is like a roll of toilet paper.... ....the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes......
Very good Phil, ;) :lol:

it also goes a lot faster if you’re really full of “it”. :o

Fresh roll, please!! :lol:

Warren Mumpower said:
Don't feel too bad about the cell phone TLR, I can't even afford the garage door opener..:(

So much for retirement life. :confused:


Well, a TV remote works just as well…:wink:

I don’t watch TV…:frowning: I just don’t have anything for a status symbol…:frowning: :frowning: :frowning: I spend all my money on trains…:smiley:

Warren Mumpower said:
I don't watch TV...:( I just don't have anything for a status symbol...:( :( :( I spend all my money on trains......:D
And then you hide them in the basement? Or do you carry the Aristo remote when you go out? :lol: :lol:

THAT’S IT!! I’ll make a holster to put on my belt to hold my TE…:smiley: :lol:

Warren Mumpower said:
THAT'S IT!! I'll make a holster to put on my belt to hold my TE.....:D :lol:
That's much better! Make sure you point it antenna first, if you need to point it. :lol: :lol: