On the way to the office this morning, I rear-ended a car.
Somehow I knew it was going to be a bad day.
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf; poor bastard.
He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said ‘I am not
happy’
I said, ‘Well, which one are you then?’
That’s how the fight started…
Phil,
Did the little guy win?
I’m sure at that point he was gruppy.
Must’ve been Grumpy. Or maybe his brother, Pissed.
Bloke calls out the AAA on his way home from the pub after a monumental session on the turps.
AAA guy says “Piston broke…”
Bloke says " I know that but whatsa matter with the car?"
Hansel and Gretel discovered the Gingerbread House about 45 minutes after they discovered the mushrooms.
Oh, yeah, I see it too…
…after reading the above notes; I have gone out to the abbey, and opened another bottle of Sheep Dip. I’m now ready for anything, even another of our “Every Two Days” snow storms…I hear we have another approaching…seems the USPost is good at delivery, by way of St.Loo…
Fred Mills said:Heck, after reading the above notes, I'm tempted to go into the crypt and drink a vat of hemlock ... ... were it not for the fact that I'm curious about what new lunacy management has dreamt up.
....after reading the above notes; I have gone out to the abbey, and opened another bottle of Sheep Dip.
Chris Vernell said:Our English mate Terry once quoted from the performance evaluation of a certain officer, "His men would follow him anywhere, mainly out of curiosity." Sounds like you're in the same boat.
Heck, after reading the above notes, I'm tempted to go into the crypt and drink a vat of hemlock ...... were it not for the fact that I'm curious about what new lunacy management has dreamt up.
When dealing with lunatics, it’s important to establish you’re crazier than they are. Next time you get that one phone call too many, answer using this old trick, replacing whatever needs replacing with your own preferences.
“Edgewater Asylum, Genghis Khan speaking. How can we help you today?”
Your phone calls will decrease, and you’ll get the solitude you crave in the cafeteria. No one will dare fire you, because you might know where they live.
Dave Healy said:
Next time you get that one phone call too many, answer using this old trick, replacing whatever needs replacing with your own preferences.“Edgewater Asylum, Genghis Khan speaking. How can we help you today?”
“Sure.”
“I mean like, a lot of blood?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“That’s great! How soon can you get here?”
“Well, we’d have to set up an appointment.”
“Can’t you come now? I really, really need it cleaned right away. Oh, and can you get blood out of upholstery too?”
“Uhh…”
Phone call is not the problem with me. Its the door to door guys.
Well, my little puppy. Look at picture. Is now up to 120 lbs and will bark her head off when the door bell goes off. Its funny when you answer the door pulling the dog back and yelling quit you bit all the people your going to today. then with a streight face smile and say Yes.
For some reason I still see the door to door guys but they don’t stop at my house any more. I wonder what it is?
(http://allaboutmidgets.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/angryhank_1.jpg)
I told you, I’m not Happy! I’m his brother, Angry! Grrrr!
Ray Dunakin said:Dave Healy said:
Next time you get that one phone call too many, answer using this old trick, replacing whatever needs replacing with your own preferences.“Edgewater Asylum, Genghis Khan speaking. How can we help you today?”
I used to know a guy with a wicked sense of humor, who had some interesting ways of dealing with telemarketers. For instance, one time he got a call offering carpet cleaning services. He responded with something along these lines: “Can you get out bloodstains?”“Sure.”
“I mean like, a lot of blood?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“That’s great! How soon can you get here?”
“Well, we’d have to set up an appointment.”
“Can’t you come now? I really, really need it cleaned right away. Oh, and can you get blood out of upholstery too?”
“Uhh…”
Dave Healy said:Ray Dunakin said:Dave Healy said:
Next time you get that one phone call too many, answer using this old trick, replacing whatever needs replacing with your own preferences.“Edgewater Asylum, Genghis Khan speaking. How can we help you today?”
I used to know a guy with a wicked sense of humor, who had some interesting ways of dealing with telemarketers. For instance, one time he got a call offering carpet cleaning services. He responded with something along these lines: “Can you get out bloodstains?”“Sure.”
“I mean like, a lot of blood?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“That’s great! How soon can you get here?”
“Well, we’d have to set up an appointment.”
“Can’t you come now? I really, really need it cleaned right away. Oh, and can you get blood out of upholstery too?”
“Uhh…”
Chuckle!!! Must try that one!
Same goes for “XYZ Funeral Home, how may I direct your call?”
One of my friends pulls that one.
That poor little guy died a few yrs ago. Howard Stern used to have him on, he was always drunk. I told the joke at work the other day. Went over most of there heads, no pun intended !
Victor Smith said:
(http://allaboutmidgets.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/angryhank_1.jpg)
I told you, I’m not Happy! I’m his brother, Angry! Grrrr!
yeah Hank the Angry Dwarf was one of the best parts of the show at that time, but I guess he had some serious issues with alcohol coupled with his medical condition. Too bad.
Speaking of dwarves, I saw the movie “In Brouges” which has Peter Dinklage of “The Station Agent” which is a terrific little film, as a movie cast member who befriends Colin Firth and gives a really good performance once again. But unlike Station Agent, which also has humor and sadness, this movie is both as dark humored and dark drama as you can get, but it is very funny in places. Definetly NOT a date movie or for young kids.
If you haven’t taken the time to see “The Station Agent”, you are missing a good film. We enjoyed it so much, watched it two nights in a row. Watch the spoon, its a kick.
Phil Creer said:Musta been a Holden.
AAA guy says "Piston broke....."
