Large Scale Central

NAVY'S EARLY RETIREMENT PLAN

UNCLAS //N01000//

NAVADMINNOTE 1000

SUBJ: CHANGE TO US NAVY EARLY RETIREMENT PROGRAM REF A: PERSONNEL MANUAL

NAVADMIN M1000.6(SERIES)

  1. AS A RESULT OF AN OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PROPOSED FORCE REDUCTIONS AND
    BUDGET CUTS, THE NAVY HAS DEVELOPED A PROGRAM TO REDUCE THE NUMBER OF
    ACTIVE DUTY PERSONNEL. THIS PROGRAM WILL BE EFFECTIVE 1 OCTOBER 2009.

UNDER THIS PROGRAM, OLDER SAILORS WILL BE ASKED TO GO ON EARLY
RETIREMENT, THUS PERMITTING THE RETENTION OF THE YOUNGER SAILORS WHO
REPRESENT THE FUTURE. THEREFORE, THIS PROGRAM WILL PHASE OUT OLDER
SAILORS BY JUNE OF THE FOLLOWING FISCAL YEAR. THIS INITIAL PHASE OF THE
PROGRAM WILL BE KNOWN AS SLAP (SAILORS LATE-AGED PROGRAM). SAILORS WHO
ARE SLAPPED WILL BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LOOK FOR JOBS OUTSIDE THE
NAVY. SLAPPED SAILORS CAN REQUEST A REVIEW OF THEIR PERSONNEL RECORDS
BEFORE ACTUAL RETIREMENT TAKES PLACE.

  1. THIS PHASE OF THE PROGRAM IS CALLED SCREW (SURVEY OF CAPABILITIES OF
    RETIRED EARLY WORKERS). ALL SAILORS WHO HAVE BEEN SLAPPED OR SCREWED MAY
    FILE AN APPEAL WITH THEIR CHAIN OF COMMAND WITH FINAL AUTHORITY AT THE
    LOCAL COMMAND LEVEL.

  2. THIS IS CALLED SHAFT (STUDY BY HIGHER AUTHORITY FOLLOWING
    TERMINATION). UNDER THE TERMS OF TWO OTHER NEW POLICIES, A SAILOR MAY BE
    SLAPPED ONCE, SCREWED TWICE, BUT MAY BE SHAFTED AS MANY TIMES AS THE
    NAVY DEEMS APPROPRIATE. IF A SAILOR FOLLOWS THE ABOVE PROCEDURES, HE/SHE
    WILL BE ENTITLED TO HERPES (HALF EARNINGS FOR RETIRED PERSONNEL’S EARLY

SEVERANCE) OR CLAP (COMBINED LUMP-SUM ASSISTANCE PAYMENT), UNLESS HE/SHE
ALREADY HAS AIDS (ADDITIONAL INCOME FROM DEPENDENTS OR SPOUSE).

  1. AS HERPES AND CLAP ARE CONSIDERED BENEFIT PLANS, ANY SAILOR WHO HAS
    RECEIVED HERPES OR CLAP WILL NO LONGER BE SLAPPED OR SCREWED BY THE
    NAVY. THE NAVY WISHES TO ASSURE THE YOUNGER SAILORS WHO REMAIN ON BOARD
    THAT THE NAVY WILL CONTINUE ITS POLICY OF TRAINING SAILORS THROUGH OUR
    SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (SHT). THE NAVY TAKES PRIDE IN THE
    AMOUNT OF SH
    T OUR SAILORS RECEIVE AND THE FACT THAT WE HAVE GIVEN OUR
    SAILORS MORE SHT THAN ANY OTHER SERVICE. IF ANY SAILOR FEELS THEY DO
    NOT RECEIVE ENOUGH SH
    T AT THEIR CURRENT DUTY STATION, SEE YOUR
    IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR IF AND WHEN THEY SHOW UP TO WORK AGAIN. YOUR
    SUPERVISOR IS SPECIALLY TRAINED TO MAKE SURE YOU RECEIVE ALL THE SH*T
    YOU CAN STAND.

  2. THIS CHANGE WILL BE INCORPORATED INTO A FUTURE CHANGE TO REF A.

Reminds me of the TWIX that two medical CPO’s sent out world wide one night about the new rules for Unwed Active Duty Navy Mothers. Went out under ADM Zumwalts call sign. Will see if I can dig up my copy. ADM Zumwalt thought it was really funny but warned the two not to do it again. They were assigned to the Naval Liaison unit at Tripler when I was Deputy Chief of Pharmacy (Army) I knew these two birds very well. They were as usual four sheets to the wind when they did it.
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