Large Scale Central

If only all crimes ended this way

Saw this in the news the other day. Seems like poetic justice:

WICHITA, Kan. (AP) - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, police said.

The man had just stuck the gun in his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle, authorities said. He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf, they said.

The 23-year-old man managed to walk into a hospital for treatment. He and his two alleged accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested on attempted kidnapping charges. They were accused of trying to kidnap a teenager in a dispute over stereo speakers.

I really enjoy stories like this. I guess, if he could have got a shot into the other one, this story would become a candidate for an upcoming Darwinian award.

Well , HE sure isn’t stereo now .
Perhaps he could go and live in China , and call himself "Won Hung Low "
I bet he doesn’t have the balls to do another kidnap .

Mike Morgan said:
I bet he doesn't have the balls to do another kidnap .
How could you be so unsympathetic to this unhappy, oppressed victim of a cruel, uncaring society? I could go on at length about the miseries inflicted ......

… but unfortunately, the dog ate my dictionary of psychobabble …

and died.

OH NO!! ANOTHER LIBERAL…:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :stuck_out_tongue:

Warren

Sorry cant win a Darwin Award, he’s illegiable, still got one testy left, or right, I’m not sure

Ray I have to share this one, from the Darwin Awards site, kinda a bookend to your story

(7 March 2002, Colorado) When Gerald was pulled over by police for erratic driving, he decided it was better to flee from the stolen car on foot, rather than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This was the first of two successive mental lapses. Gerald’s actual thoughts are unknown, but may have been something like this: “The officers are only suspicious and alert now… I’ll make them hot, sweaty, tired, and angry by leading them on a wild chase through dark alleys and fields.”
During the subsequent foot chase, Gerald attempted to dissuade officers from the pursuit by firing a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun blindly over his shoulder. This was the second illustration of a potential mental deficiency. “Officers are running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun! They have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, so I’ll fire wildly behind me and see what happens!”

Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who can’t chew gum and walk at the same time. Or at least he couldn’t flee and fire at the same time. While discharging the weapon over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the head with his own gun, bringing the chase to a sudden conclusion.

Four shots were fired, none by the officers, who found Gerald’s pistol next to his fallen body. Gerald was transported to a local hospital where he expired the following day, thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.

Victor Smith said:
Sorry cant win a Darwin Award, he's illegiable, still got one testy left, or right, I'm not sure
Most likely, he is right handed. That means that he put the gun into the belt pointing to the left teste, witness that on the second shot, he shot himself in the left calf. So, most likely, he blew off his left testicle.

“I’d give my left nut for those speakers,” he was heard to say, an hour before the incident.

He is probably eligible for some sort of welfare award, though.

Sympathy? It is in the dictionary, right between sht and sphls.

He’ll probably sue the gun manufacturer and be awarded millions…:confused: :frowning:

Warren

I lilke the one where the two rednecks decided to play Russian roulette with an automatic, more bullets you see, better odds.

Here I’ll put one in, you go first…

I forget when this happened - sometime between '95 and '2001 when I was covering news in Rochester…

A particularly shining example of mental prowess decided to impress his girlfriend by showing her the sawed off shotgun he had stuffed into his shorts. Accidentally pulled the trigger. Needless to say, she wasn’t impressed.

He lived… but he’s not allowed to go swimming in the gene pool anymore.

Later,

K

K

In a similar vein…

(2000, England) This tale proves that crime does pay, if you’re fishing for elective surgery to go along with your stolen goods.
A 24-year-old supermarket shoplifter stuffed a pair of live lobsters in his pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of startled cashiers when they fastened their powerful claws around his delicate parts.

Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They say the thief will fully recover – except for one small detail. “It was a do-it-yourself vasectomy.” This man’s daring supermarket exploits make him one of the few Darwin Award winners to live to tell the tale.

The supermarket manager declined to press charges, saying the culprit has already “gone through enough pain (to) learn his lesson.”

Not much sympathy for the guy from here in Wichita.
JimC.