Dave,
There’s hope for you yet! 
This was forwarded to me by my very good friend across the sea…
The Pope died and went to heaven. He was stopped at the gate by a sleepy watchman who asked him, “Yeah, what do you want?” The Pope thought, “great! I do 30 years of God’s work to get stopped by this guy.” Then he says “Look I am the Pope. I have done many years of good work.” The watchman (a Boatswain’s Mate Second Class) says, “we ain’t got no orders for you. Go get some rest and we’ll see you in the morning…”
He then gives the Pope directions to an old WWII open bay barracks. The Pope goes in to find all the lower bunks taken and the only lockers left have no doors. So he throws his gear under his rack and goes to sleep.
The next morning he is awakened by loud music and cheering. He runs to the window to see a long black limo with a US Navy chief in the back, smoking a huge cigar, hanging on to a mug of fresh hot coffee (could have been Jack & Coke) and with two beautiful blond angels hanging on to him. The Pope is angry and goes to the night watch. He says, “I’m the Pope! I do 30 years of God’s work aboard the Vatican only to see some Navy Chief that probably did everything imaginable a sailor would do and he get’s treated like
royalty!”
The watchman says, “Pope? Huh, we get Popes every 20 to 30 years here. This is our first ever Navy Chief.”
