Just read the latest Newsletter of a certain organization - for security reasons they shall remain unnamed - which features a “Humorscope” Entry for my sign: “You will be visited by missionaries today, and will finally have an excellent opportunity to slip into your demon costume before opening the door.”
Hans-Joerg Mueller said:
“You will be visited by missionaries today, and will finally have an excellent opportunity to slip into your demon costume before opening the door.”
You mean that isn’t your normal appearance?
No, that would be my evil twin. :lol: Living in the wilds of rural Ontario it would be a regular occurance having the “missionaries” at one’s door. More so since they had a major enterprise in the vicinity. One day they showed up in a big old American “boat” of a jalopy. The Husky-Golden cross greeted all four of them - he was really good at the job. The five of us had a reasonably long but very inconclusive chat, at the end of which they got back in the “boat” and proceeded to back down the driveway. All 200 meters to the road through the trees - no the driveway wasn’t straight either. This despite there being plenty of room to turn around right by the house. When I related the story - I thought it really hilarious! - to my friend who dropped by shortly afterwards he quipped " I don’t blame them, they made darn sure to have the “devil” in front of them, rather than have him at their backs." So true, so true! BTW it was a very long while before the next, uninitiated “missionaries” showed up.
Out here in the Valley we were lucky enough to inherit a sign, from the previous owners, which reads: “No Agents, Peddlers or Solicitors”. As a rule I just point to the sign and ask : “Have you figured out which part applies to you?” 
Hans-Joerg Mueller said:We used to get them fairly regularly, but not lately. There is a Kingdom Hall up the road aways, and a Mormon temple. On the whole, I preferred the Mormons; they had a more pleasant attitude.
Living in the wilds of rural Ontario it would be a regular occurrence having the "missionaries" at one's door.
True story: two missionaries show up at a certain residence hereabouts. Door opens, occupant meets them in full “blacks” with dog collar …
Our pastor chuckled about that one for quite a while.
Look on their faces, priceless.
My daughter’s cat has cerebral palsy … poor thing walks like it is drunk and falls over a lot, othert han that it seems a happy enough creature…anyway coupla missionary types in blue slacks, white shirts and ties carrying bibles show up at the door one day. One of 'em says “Hey Mister, I think there is something wrong with your cat!”…I respond, “Yep, ya’ll heal him and we’ll talk” and shut the door…haven’t been bothered since
HJ, Was this the sort of devil you had in mind.
H-J - I just noted that you live in Coldstream ONTARIO, not Coldstream BC.
Well, well. You are not safe from the predation of the tac family, in that case. If there is a knock on your door one day, and you see a two-foot high vulture wearing a Hudson Bay fleecy and Leafs hat standing outside, that’ll be ig. I’ll be somewhere nearby.
In our house we have three things that keep unwelcome evangelists away -
A sign of a bible-thumper crossed through like a no-entry sign.
Next-door neighbours who ARE Mormons - a great family of seven really good folks - so we NEVER get Mormons knocking.
My pre-WW2 double hearing aid - each ear wears an item about the size of a hand-cranked coffee grinder, with a battery pack and loud-speaker the size of a cornflake box that I hang around my neck when I answer the door. When they start their spiel, I shout back at them - ‘You’ll have to speak up, my wife has borrowed the fresh batteries, HAVEN’T YOU, DEAR?’…and watch them go.
tac
Ottawa Valley GRS
TAC, I think you need a new pair of glasses to go with those hearing aids… HJ is out here in no man’s land north of me.
Dang slat sliders…
Warren Mumpower said:Slat sliders are OK. Generally the loudest noise they make is the THWUCK when they hit a tree or fall down a really really steep slope. Snowmobilers, OTOH ...
Dang slat sliders........:/
I prefer the scream that follows the THWUCK…as they lay there with their legs wrapped around an unmovable tree…