In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
sailors, it will be our policy to keep all sailors well taught through our
program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give
our sailors more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not
receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the ship, please see your Chief. You
will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list. Our Chiefs are
especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Sailors who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING
(E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our Chiefs took S.H.I.T. before they advanced, they don’t have to do
S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of
S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your
name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). For
sailors who are intending to pursue a career in management and consulting,
we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH
EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.) as per the BOSS IN
GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
You are directed to share this S.H.I.T. with five other people who need the
same S.H.I.T. in their life - not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T.
memo. They have already had their fill of S.H.I.T.
Thank You for your time.
Sincerely,
The Director Under the Military Bureau of Super High Intensity Training
(The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)
