Large Scale Central

Axioms of Building a Garden Railway

General Discussion
#1

I have discovered a set of axioms that will invariable happen if you install a garden railway.

  1. Rocks. You will find em in the ground. You will have to dig em up. Take consolation that they will be reusable as scenery.
  2. Bricks, logs, roots, glass, stakes, chunks of concrete. You will find these too.
  3. Extension cords, hoses, rope, string. It will get caught on everything as you move around. Even things you didn’t think they could possibly get stuck on.
  4. Soil. It varies a lot. You will find stuff that is like pudding in one spot and clay as hard as rocks. They could be one foot apart.
  5. Pipes, power lines, gas lines - find them in the ground or suffer.
  6. Trips to hardware store. You will make a lot of these. I have yet to count mine.

I’ll add to this list as I discover more of these.

#2

Rocks, when placed as scenery items WILL move, and when you least expect it.

The railroad can run flawless for hours, but as soon as a spectator arrives, something that has been totally reliable up to that point will misbehave.

#3

Ballast evaporates.

When someone suggest a way to do something outdoors is “the correct way”, unless he lives next door, there is a very good chance it wont work for you.

#4

I’ve always wondered what happened to my ballast. (http://www.largescalecentral.com/externals/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-surprised.gif)

Track joiners don’t.

#5

Axiom of Life for Combined S****hipping Fees.

As soon as you order a something (e.g., a part) and pay the shipping charge, you will inevitably find that you need something else from these people and will have to pay that shipping charge again. (http://largescalecentral.com/externals/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-yell.gif)

More often than not, you will find this out before the first part even arrives. (http://largescalecentral.com/externals/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-undecided.gif)

#6

no matter how well you measure, mark out, plan and estimate, nothing will fit in the exact space you had just measured 3 times.

Trackwork will suddenly change its percieved size, clearances will evaporate and things will shrink or grow , opposite of what would be good for you.

#7

No matter how careful you are, if you run live steam, you will burn yourself.

if you continue to run live steam, it will happen again.

welcome to the burnt finger brigade!

#8

Ha ha… I look forward to some of these. I haven’t ballasted the track yet so no chance for it to evaporate. My joiners are working for now.

#9

Anything you think can be completed in a reasonable amount of time will take five times as long to finish, if it ever gets done.

#10

Gary Buchanan, FOG, DRS, DSS, DCS said:

Anything you think can be completed in a reasonable amount of time will take five times as long to finish, if it ever gets done.

Related to that is “the weekend you start major construction that interrupts the continuity of the RR is the weekend SWMBO has invited friends from the garden club over and hasn’t told you, and, thus, you can’t run a train for them”

#11

As I get older, I find I get half as much done and it takes me twice as long!

#12

When you go to a train show with absolutely no intention of buying anything, then can’t find anymore room in your vehicle to fit stuff…(http://www.largescalecentral.com/externals/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif)

#13

Hey Nicolas! This thread is really cool. It’s like a whole new set of Murpy’s Laws.

#14

If you take cash to a train show, there will invariably be an amazing, must-have item that costs just more than the amount of money you brought.

Also, it is inevitable that once your track work is recently refreshed, you will have locomotive/rolling stock issues. When you’ve fixed the trains, the garden ground cover will have overgrown the right of way. By the time you get that sorted, the track will need work again.

#15

Bob McCown said:

Ballast evaporates.

…

I don’t understand where outdoor ballast goes. The first homo sapiens had to make up a Fire God to explain what happens to fire when it goes out (like, seriously, where does it go???)…we need a train God of Ballast to explain what happens to ballast.

#16

All rocks migrate

I rest my case.

John

#17

What the…?

#18

Is it possible small animals and birds have use for ballast? Perhaps they use it as the large rocks for their model railways.

#19

Nicolas Teeuwen said:

Is it possible small animals and birds have use for ballast? Perhaps they use it as the large rocks for their model railways.

Used to be people would tout chicken grit for ballast, but all the birds ate it to digest food …

We lose some to critters, but I think most gets vibrated down. Wind and rain can move our scale boulders as well.

John

#20

John Passaro said:

What the…?

http://www.sci-news.com/physics/science-death-valley-sailing-stones-02148.html

There you go buddy.

John