Large Scale Central

Ancient Indian Knowledge

General Discussion
#1

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
“Kemosabe, look towards sky; what you see?”

The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”

“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of
galaxies. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Tonto?”

“You dumber than buffalo s__t. Someone stole tent.”

#2

hehe

I’ve heard a similar version that ends, “Watson, you fool! Someone has stolen our tent!”

#3

…remember the other Tonto statement: “What you mean “We”; whiteman…!!!”…this was uttered when Tonto and the masked twit were surrounded by blood thirsty Indians, and the masked guy says "What are WE going to do now…? "

Of course the masked twit was the Lone Ranger. Alone because he stank to high heaven from sleeping with his horse, and only Tonto could stand him, because he was lacking any sense of smell…!!!

#4

Lone Ranger Joke Thread!

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?”

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!!” The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.

The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to take your saddle blanket and run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.”

Tonto said, “Sure Kemosabe”, and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”

The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, “I do. What is wrong with him this time?”

The cowboy says to him, “You left your Injun running!!!”

#5

I always liked the Far Side cartoon of the lone ranger in retirement looking through an Indian dictionary and looking at the definition of the word Kemosabe…Indian word for asshole.

#6
Gary Buchanan said:
I always liked the Far Side cartoon of the lone ranger in retirement looking through an Indian dictionary and looking at the definition of the word Kemosabe...Indian word for asshole.
That may be the best of the lot!
#7

Caution: Thread Hijacking in progress! My personal favorite:

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/110/298864264_99d3c053d2.jpg)

Sincerely, Joe Satnik

#8

Love it.

#9

Tonto and the Lone Ranger are camped on the plains when a thunderstorm sends there horses running, they go looking for them and decide to split up, Tonto goes south, and the Lone Ranger goes north and after Kimosavi finds Silver he decides to go find Tonto. As he rides south he finds Tonto laying spread eagled on the ground with his ear to the ground, he slowly speaks, “Wagon, two horses, man, woman, two kids, dog,…”

The Lone Ranger says impressivley “Tonto, thats amazing you can tell that from listening to the ground!”

Tonto repleys “No, you dumb-ass, they run me over”