Large Scale Central

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Tools and Tips
#1

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

AVOID ARGUMENTS ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

A MOUSE TRAP ON YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER HITTING THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE: WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE DUCT TAPE.

IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS.

#2

Almost like a “RED GREEN” book of famous thoughts…

#3

All these things need to be documented. That way we have a place to look for the answers when we forget them.

#4

“IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.”

More likely it requires a BIGGER hammer.

#5
Hans-Joerg Mueller said:
"IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM."

More likely it requires a BIGGER hammer.


Uh Huh. Don’t force it, just get a bigger hammer.

#6

That last one reminds me of “Deep Thoughts” by Jack Handey. My favorite: “When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like Grandpa did, not screaming like the passengers in his car.”