Large Scale Central

A Few Pointers From A Friendly Neighborhood Locomotive Engineer

Prototypes
#1

Warning! Some of this guy’s language is “off-color” at best. If you do not wish to read any four-letter words, delete this now. I’ve tried to correct, but what I think is politically correct still might offend some. This does get across some good points, and even provides a chuckle or two.

A few pointers from your friendly neighborhood locomotive engineer

Let’s start with some DON’Ts.

  1. A train is really, really big. Can we all accept that? Not even your Ram/F350/Hummer/douche-mobile is a match for a locomotive. You say you have a Cummins diesel? Caterpillar? Detroit? Oooooooh. Well I have an EMD 567 on a bad day, and even its pathetic eighteen-hundred horsepower will pound you and your gleaming pickup into the fourth dimension, so please, stay behind the white line!

  2. I hate blocking crossings. Seriously, I feel like a complete ahole when I stop a train in the middle of the road and leave two dozen motorists to ponder their lattes and ask what the hell I’m doing. The truth is, sometimes it has to be done, so don’t honk at me, flip me off, or scream at me from the window of your Dodge Caravan as you’re shooting a U. Instead, be patient and try to believe that there’s a point to what I’m doing. It’s called switching, and my conductor is depending on me to work slowly and not run his a over. If you don’t believe me, Wiki that sh*t.

  3. Don’t climb on the equipment. I hate to sound like your mother, but you’re saving me a lot of paperwork and horrifying flashbacks by staying off the equipment. To you it might look like an abandoned train or a free ride, but when that bastard starts to move with you on it, there’s a damn good chance you won’t be able to hold on. As long as you’re on Wikipedia, punch in “slack action” and see what comes up. Also, the romance of riding freight trains is total bullsht. They’re really dark, really cold, really windy, and hobos are f***ng SCARY.

  4. Don’t put sh*t on the tracks. It’s dangerous to me and my conductor, and it’s ten times more dangerous for you and everyone else on the ground. If you’re wondering “can a train go over a rock?” the answer is YES. There’s only one problem. You probably haven’t wondered where the million shards of rock are going to go at four times the speed of sound, have you?

  5. Stop whining about the horn. Countless accidents have been avoided because drivers missed the flashing lights but heard the horn. You’d have to blast Miley Cyrus and Lil’ Bow Wow pretty f*****g loud to drown out a five-chime, and often that’s the only thing that saves people. Still, that’s no reason to keep your stereo at eighty decibels as you’re rolling through a crossing at sixty without looking both ways.

  6. By and large, railroad cops are major dche bags, so when you’re trespassing on railroad property, keep your head out of your a. These guys didn’t make it into the real police force, and they will ream your a** inside and out to make up for it. Also, walking on bridges and in tunnels is extremely dangerous. Ask yourself: If a train comes, where will I go? Trains are much wider than the rails they run on, so don’t be fooled.

Now for some of the DO’S.

  1. If you see a large object (like a garbage can or an F350) that’s about to get love-tapped by a hotshot freight train, get in the clear. If the sh*t’s about to fly at a railroad crossing, run to the side of the street that the train is coming from. That way you’ll be behind the point of impact and you won’t have to worry about catching that beautiful pickup and its over-confident driver square on your f*****g shoulders. If you run away from the train you’re just putting yourself in the line of fire, and the death toll could very possibly be two.

  2. If the gates stay down and the lights stay flashing, stay where you are. I guaran-d*mn-tee there’s another train coming, and speeding onto the tracks the moment the first train clears is a lot like celebrating a touchdown too early. WHAM.

  3. When you’re waiting for a train to pass, it’s a good idea to stay back thirty or forty feet. Trains are operated by professionals, but often they’re loaded by total a**clowns. I’ve heard some real nasty stories about payloads falling off flatcars and crushing people in their vehicles, or doors sliding off boxcars and ripping through everything in their path. It’s rare, but sh*t happens!

  4. Always report problems or suspicious activity. If you see a photographer with a radio scanner and a big-ass notebook, ignore him. We know that guy. But if there’s a dude in street clothes working a crowbar through a signal box, hit us up and tell us what the deal is. Railroad crossings usually have signs with emergency numbers, or you can call the non-emergency number for your local fuzz. If an accident has already occurred or a life is at risk, call 911 instead. Pretty sure they have our number.

  5. Last but not least, when you’re inconvenienced by a train, remember that we’re pulling for you! Trains are a great way to conserve fuel, reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and keep American jobs alive and green. Rail technology is the best solution to our energy crisis, and as the rail network grows in the years to come, it’s important for everyone to stay safe. Look, listen, LIVE.

#2

That was very f$#@ing good. I have placed pennies on the train tracks back in my misguided youth, never rocks or tree limbs.

#3

“Common Sense” of which alot of people have “None” and “curiosity” which get alot of people in trouble! Regal
I have seen many vehicles and people after a train hit em! I saw a kid get hit by a train, in high school one morning going to school (we crossed the track to save going the long way around!!) Not a good choice, get up a couple of times dazzed and run into the train and lived to tell about it another day when we were kids! All things were a “good” lesson of what NOT to do! It was “his” “LUCKY” day!!

#4

For once an engineer has given you some good pointers. As for the pennies placed on the rail your dancing the death here. Think of a water melon seed and you pinch it between your thumb and finger, guess what happens it escapes, A penny will do the same thing when placed on the rail and a loco runs over it. Shouts out faster than a bullet and if your in the way well good luck. And yep never go around gates no matter what. It’s illegal in the first place. I can vouch for all said as (1) I was a Operation Life Safer presenter. (2) I worked for 2 RR. and (3) I was an FRA track safety specialist. for my last 31 years of work. later RJD

#5

I personally like #5 of the dont’s

#6
David Russell said:
I personally like #5 of the dont's
Like yer Miley Cyrus and Lil Bow Wow tunes do ya?
#7
Bart Salmons said:
David Russell said:
I personally like #5 of the dont's
Like yer Miley Cyrus and Lil Bow Wow tunes do ya?
:lol: I know who Miley Cyrus is but no clue as to Lil Bow Wow. Just picturing it from and engineers stand point as we all see it from time to time.
#8

Yeah, that should be taped to a 2x4 and pounded into peoples’ heads.

There are some who will require a 4x8 though.

#9

DO #3 is something new to think about…

I already know that I never want to live too close to RR tracks, that business yesterday up at Tehachapi being proof of that.

#10
Victor Smith said:
DO #3 is something new to think about....

I already know that I never want to live too close to RR tracks, that business yesterday up at Tehachapi being proof of that.


In the 80’s I had Conrail’s NY State main-line in my back yard at about 2nd floor level less than a car length away from our duplex. I had many a nightmare about a derailment taking out the first floor while I slept on the second. After I moved away there was one there, but luckily everything stayed in the ROW.

#11

You remembered the 80’s?

#12

Of course. It’s the 70’s that left me :slight_smile:

I was too young to forget the 60’s, but I like to say that I did :smiley: :smiley:

#13
Victor Smith said:
DO #3 is something new to think about....
I remember watching a fast freight going by out in the Mojave a few years ago, had a long piece of razor-thin steel loading strap hanging off it, whipping around. Anyone standing too close would have been cut to bits.
#14

In view of what happened the other night in Melbourne FLA, THIS is VERY apposite -

6…Also, walking on bridges and in tunnels is extremely dangerous. Ask yourself: If a train comes, where will I go? Trains are much wider than the rails they run on, so don’t be fooled.

Three young girls died trying to fit themselves into a space already occupied by 5000 tons of train. :frowning:

HERE is that actual bridge - watch the speed of that train…

http://videos.wittysparks.com/id/3501585311/

tac
www.ovgrs.org

#15

Hmmm. Prompted by a wise-ass comment in another forum, I went to work on the movie clip and calculated that the train in the movie, which is probably typical, was moving at around 31.4 mph.

Way too fast for an Olympic champ to outrun, let alone three young girls… :frowning:

tac
www.ovgrs.org

#16

Saddest thing about is that witnesses say that everyone could here the horns for a good time before the train reached the bridge, a fisherman even yelled at the girls to move, but they ignored him and the horns until the train came looming into view, only then did they move then apparently froze again, as if they thought the train would just stop for them, sadly 5000 tons of steel doesnt stop like a car or truck, they learned this too late.

#17

A friend and I violated Don’t #3 by riding an SP freight from Colton yard in southern California to Tucson, Arizona, one night about 50 years ago. It was not romantic and fun - instead, it was darn cold, rainy, dark, and dangerous on the load of pipe we were riding. No empty box cars. We carried axe handles to ward off the 'boes. My friend ended up with pneumonia. I decided I didn’t have to do that again.
But then 25 years ago, five of us decided to cross a small river on a short RR bridge to save a long walk around it in violation of Don’t #6. I never heard the Amtrak, but golly they are fast, aren’t they? Once I saw it and then heard its whistle blasting, two of us ran like heck to safety in a wide-out on the bridge and saw the engineer scowling and shaking his fist at us as he leaned on the whistle from the moment he came around the curve and saw us. I was sure I’d find three dead guys at the other end of the bridge, but they, too, just made it. Now I drive past that bridge several times a year and remember just how quiet the Amtrak is and how stupid we were.